What are signs his friends are more important than you? One of the reasons for a broken romantic relationship is when one prioritizes their friends more than their partner. Since a relationship is a commitment, it is essential to spend time with your lover when you are in a relationship. This is intended to get to know each other, adapt to each other, and even solve some problems.
But what happens when your spouse spends more time with their friends than with you? Or does your boyfriend care for his friends’ opinions more than yours? These are some of the signs that your boyfriend prioritizes their friends over you. What should you do?
Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Prioritizes Their Friends Over You
Everyone surely needs time to hang out with their friends. But if they spend too much time with their friends especially when they already have a lover, this can lead to a broken relationship as their lover would feel ignored and forgotten. Below are the reasons why my boyfriend would rather be with his friends than me.
Long-Time Friendship
If your boyfriend has been friends with his pals for a very long time, it is the biggest reason why he prioritizes his friends over you as his girlfriend. And it is reasonable since your boyfriend and his friends are already close and have known each other for a long time. On the other hand, he only knows you for months or a few years. Try to understand in order to avoid any conflict.
He Can be Himself with His Friends
If you are in a relationship with your boyfriend for just a few months now, it can be that he cannot be completely open with you yet. He needs to maintain his image when he is with you. And no one is comfortable doing this for a long time. No one is comfortable to be someone else, including your boyfriend. So, he prefers to be with his friends since he can be himself with them. It is better to give him some me-time with his friends.
He Has Problems That Can’t be Told to You
Though you and your boyfriend have been together for a long time, boys always have some certain issues that they cannot tell girls, including their moms and girlfriends. They do this for various reasons, such as they do not want to bother you, or they are afraid that you cannot understand them with their problems. As a girlfriend, you surely want your boyfriend to tell you anything. This is reasonable. But you also need to respect their privacy and boundaries.
It is not that you are unreliable, but your boyfriend perhaps needs time to finally open up about their problems with you.
He Needs Privacy with His Own World
Sometimes, you just want to be alone with your own world, right? Like being alone watching your favorite TV series. Your boyfriend also needs this. He also needs some space only with his friends laughing out loud about silly things. Once he feels whole, your boyfriend will come back to you, happier. You do not have to be worried, especially if your boyfriend’s friends are all boys.
What to Do If Your Boyfriend Prioritizes His Friends
Actually, there is no need for you to worry if your boyfriend hangs out with friends more than me. Because he surely has his own reasons. As long as he still listens to you, remembers you, and makes time with you, do not worry too much. But if you still are worried, here are several things you can do to have a calm mind.
Figure Out the Signs and Causes
According to Kurt Smith, a marriage therapist from Northern California, unhappy men who prioritize their friends think that they cannot make their spouses happy. It is because their girlfriends or wives do not appreciate them. Instead, they only point out what they do wrong. Therefore, it is better to spare time to talk heart to heart with your boyfriend. Ask your boyfriend what you can do to improve.
You can also tell him what you actually wish from him. Tell him that you also want to spend more quality time with him.
Listen to All His Stories and Give Good Responses
When your boyfriend is willing to open up to you and tell you all his problems or stories, listen to him well and respond well too. Do not immediately judge him, including when he tells you why he prioritizes his friends. Imagine being in his shoes and understanding him. Do not be judgmental about your boyfriend’s needs and feelings.
He probably does not mean to keep a distance from you. Your boyfriend perhaps just wants to balance his life. He does not want to lose himself. As it is said before, people can only be themselves in front of their long-time friends that they are comfortable with.
Planning
If you really want to spend quality time with your boyfriend, discuss with him. Ask him when he has free time to hang out with you. This can be a solution, instead of getting angry at your boyfriend, accusing him this and that.
Use It as Me-Time
When your boyfriend spends time with his friends, instead of being upset, why don’t you use it as your me-time? Watch your favorite TV series all seasons, do your hobbies, have a good hair spa, or hangout with your best friends too. Be an independent woman. Being in a relationship does not mean you have to always be with your boyfriend all the time.
Make a Decision
If you already have tried anything you can do to fix this situation and nothing improves, you need to make a decision. Have a calm, nice talk with your boyfriend. You can tell him how lonely you are in this relationship even though you have a boyfriend. If he is not willing to improve your relationship, he is probably not the one for you.
Those are the reasons and tips when my boyfriend would rather be with his friends than me.
