Do you ever ask yourself why I haven’t stopped thinking about you? Thinking about someone we love may mean something to our life. Unfortunately, when you always thinking about someone and it disturbs your day, you may get some bad risks. You’ll undoubtedly come across one or two people in your life who cause you to feel strong emotions.
Perhaps you love someone who doesn’t share your sentiments, or perhaps you love someone who hurt you deeply while still loving you. Rumination can be fueled by intense hatred, so you might even find yourself thinking constantly about someone you detest.
In either case, you’d prefer not to even think about them, so you make the decision to erase those unpleasant memories and go on. However, as you may have observed, many times when you try to repress thoughts, they come back with a vengeance, leaving you feeling helpless and disappointed.
This does not imply that you will always have that person on your mind. The tactics listed below can assist you in refocusing.
Discover the cause
Ask yourself why you sought to distance yourself from someone and were unsuccessful. You can gain some understanding of why you’re still stuck and possibly find a solution by tackling this question head-on.
Consider a scenario in which you had a deep crush on a classmate but were unable to ask them out. You now devote a great deal of time to visualizing yourself having this talk.
Fixating on unfulfilled expectations is quite typical, but what if you could still communicate, possibly through social media or a buddy you have in common who can put you in touch? Perhaps your crush declines. Or they agree, and the date is a complete failure.
Put facts first
People are frequently portrayed as extremes when more realistic memories have faded with time.
Although there is more to people than just right and wrong or good and bad, memory biases can make it more likely that you would recall magnificent or dreadful things over more commonplace, daily features or experiences.
It can be simple for these inflated perceptions to take up your mental space, which makes it much harder to let go. By gradually pushing your memories back into the realm of precise truths, you can defeat them.
- Say you are unable to let go of an ex. As opposed to saying, “They were so flawless. If you think, “I’ll never find someone else like them,” consider what made it so exceptional. Outlining the good qualities that drew you to someone can make you realize that finding people who share those qualities might not be all that tough.
- Identify some proof to back up or disprove idealistic perceptions, such as: “They never let me down,” “They always knew better what to say,” or “They’re so nasty.” They only care about making me unhappy. You’ll probably find a few memories when you take the time to sort through the memories that cause you to see things in a more clear shade of gray.
- Analyze the situation with objectivity. Try to come up with alternate reasons for your coworker’s actions if you can’t shake the feeling that they’re after you. Perhaps things are difficult for them. They might have a comparable sharpness with everyone. You can avoid taking someone’s behavior personally by stepping back from an emotional perspective, which can make it simpler to ignore.
Accept rather than reject
Try diverting your thoughts toward them rather than away from someone you can’t seem to stop thinking. Although it may seem entirely nonsensical, this tactic can be effective.
You may find that those thoughts keep coming back because you haven’t yet come to terms with reality. You reject such things out of self-preservation. Unrequited love, humiliation, unfair treatment, and plain old spite – all of these can lead to a lot of suffering.
But you can’t ignore pain forever, and when you allow yourself to face it, you might be shocked by how strong it is.
It can appear as though the thoughts are forbidden or off-limits if you lock them up in your head and hide the key. You can navigate anguish more effectively if you accept them and the circumstances surrounding it. Opening the box and allowing your thoughts to run free lessens the urgency of their desire for recognition.
One method to explore and accept unwanted thoughts is meditation. Regular meditation can help you learn to sit with your thoughts, let them go, and examine them with kindness and curiosity.
Pencil it down
Meditation may not work for everyone, so don’t worry if it is not working for you. Other techniques can assist you in starting to examine and accept someone’s thoughts to finally let them go from your mind.
One such strategy is keeping a journal. Many people believe that keeping a journal is only beneficial during adolescence, however keeping one can be beneficial at any time of life.
Journaling is a private forum for expressing discomfort and coping with unwanted emotions. It might seem a little simpler to pinpoint plausible causes for recurring ideas when writing them down.
Writing in a journal can be quite cathartic. When you write down challenging thoughts, you often experience relief as though you’ve placed those thoughts somewhere they won’t weigh you down as much.
Forgetting about someone we loved so much before is a hard task for us.
Put taking care of your personal needs first
Letting go is far more difficult when you feel like you need someone. It might be quite difficult to move forward on your own and do positive efforts toward reaching your goals if you have convinced yourself that you can’t go on without them.
Consider pondering this:
- What need did they satisfy?
- Could I do that by myself?
- How can I fulfill that demand if not?
When you have already done some strategies above and you still think about your love, you can find other causes. You can read more articles about “I haven’t stopped thinking about you” in some sources.