8 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Go Back To Your Ex

When you’re in a relationship and it doesn’t work out, it can be tempting to try again with that person. You may think that they’ve changed or that they’ve realized what they did wrong. But before you go back to your ex, consider these 8 reasons why you shouldn’t go back to your ex.

They cheated on you

The very first reason why you shouldn’t go back to your ex is because they cheated on you. Cheating is a deal breaker. It’s not just something you can get over; it’s a sign that they don’t respect you, themselves and the relationship as much as they should. If your ex has cheated on you in the past and it was hard for them to stop doing so, then they are likely to do it again in the future. The only way to prevent this from happening is by staying away from them completely.

They abused you

If your partner has ever abused you, it’s vital that you understand that this is never okay and never your fault. Abuse can be physical, emotional, or even the worst is sexual in nature. It can be a one-time incident or part of a pattern of behavior. Either way, it’s not okay and you deserve better than what they are offering you.

It’s important to note that abuse is most definitely not limited to just relationships—it also happens in friendships and other close personal relationships as well. Abuse comes in many forms: physical (hitting/kicking/punching), verbal (name-calling), emotional (denying love), financial (unfairly spending money without permission), psychological (using guilt trips against the victim), or technological (stalking via social media).

Abuse can affect everyone differently; some people deal with post-traumatic stress disorder after being abused while others find themselves unable to trust anyone again after being betrayed by someone they love so dearly. 

Abuse can also have a negative impact on your mental health as well as physical health! If someone is hurting you physically or mentally then there are resources available for you—no matter how hard it may seem at first.

They miss the benefits of being in a relationship but not the work

Usually, the reasons why people go back to their exes is because they miss the benefits of being in a relationship but don’t want to put in the work. It’s like getting a free car with no strings attached—you get all these cool things that make you happy, but you have to pay for it every month. They want the benefits of a relationship without doing any work on themselves or their relationships with others. If this is your case, then remember: nothing worth having comes without effort!

It’s been a while and they think they’ve changed

Now, this may seem obvious, but it bears repeating: you can’t trust that your ex has actually changed their ways just because of the passage of time. They might have done some things differently after parting ways with you (like getting a new job, for example), but there’s no guarantee that these changes are permanent or even meaningful. 

For example, let’s say your ex got their act together and started working out regularly during the time apart from you; while this is certainly better than what they were doing before (i.e., sitting around on the couch all day eating chips), there’s still no guarantee that this behavior will continue if you were to get back together again! And besides—nobody likes a person who only acts like themselves when they feel like being nice; nobody wants to be played like that again!

You’re not addressing the reason they broke up with you

If something happened during your relationship that caused them to leave, it’s likely still present and affecting your current relationship. If this is the case, it’s important that you address it head on so that both of you can move forward in harmony.

They are still angry at you for something that happened during the past relationship (even if they don’t say so). In order to get over this anger and resentment toward you, they need time and space away from each other—and maybe even some professional help!

They’re still in love with someone else

They’re still in love with someone who doesn’t love them back. (Maybe they do, but for now, let’s just assume that you are someone who does.) They’re still in love with someone who’s not single and never was—and likely won’t be until death do them part.

You’ve moved on with your life

You’ve moved on with your life, and there’s no reason to go back with your ex. If you’re still thinking about your ex, that’s a sign that you haven’t completely healed from the breakup. You’ve grown apart: You may have loved them once, but now they just seem like a stranger. You don’t feel comfortable around each other anymore because you’ve changed so much over time.

You think the person will change: Maybe they promised to change for the better if you got back together. Maybe they promised to stop drinking or being controlling or whatever it is that’s causing problems between you two in the first place! It doesn’t matter what they say; people don’t tend to stick with their promises once they know they can get away with breaking them without consequence (which is why I advocate always having contracts). 

And even if someone does stick by their word, they might just decide later that “it wasn’t working out” or some nonsense like that anyways! If someone truly wants change for themselves then all power to them; however, if not then there won’t be any real difference between dating someone new versus dating an ex who won’t change either way because neither individual has any motivation/drive towards personal growth unless forced through external means (such as therapy or rehab).

You don’t actually want to be with them, you’re just lonely

If you’re feeling lonely or depressed, going back to your ex might seem like the easiest way out of those feelings. After all, isn’t it better than being alone? But if this is what your aim is, then misunderstanding their intentions and getting hurt again will only make things worse for both of you and delay the healing process from whatever caused the breakup in the first place. You deserve someone who wants all of you—not just a part that makes them feel good about themselves for a little while before they move on to someone else.


Those are some reasons why you shouldn’t go back to your ex. Just remember, this is just my opinion—it’s not gospel. I’m sure there are plenty of people who’ve had wonderful experiences going back to their exes, and that’s great! You’re absolutely the only one who can decide if it’s right for you. But I hope these reasons have helped you think through your decision and make sure it’s the right one for your own happiness.

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